upon a dragon wing

Having worked the last 14+ days straight, I took some essential time out today. After dealing with the business's bare essentials, I re-ignited a life long and secret passion. I tried my hand once again to write some poetry - well technically free verse as I am not necessary one for having to follow rules to the letter.

It is years since I have written in this way. I was surprised how words long forgotten words easily sprang to mind, as the imagery formed in my mind.

I hope you enjoy it as much as I did in writing it. You can also listen to the live recording.

Upon a Dragon Wing

Wings unfurl upon craggy loft,

Talons sink deep in granite face.

Breath transmuted

Giant plume of steam.

Breast of leathery armour, scaled and worn

Harbours eternal fire of beating heart.

The beast, tattooed with a web of battle scars, is

Poised for flight.

... in mind’s eye

a journey unveiled

upon a dragon wing ...

Above the Shadowlands,

See how the nightmares tend to their flock;

ghoulish creatures seized by frenzied foray.

Over the moors of the never lands,

languid swamps do seep

treasures to be betrothed, in amongst the deep.

Below the shaded woodlands,

a dispassionate glance beholds

lone wolf loping, braying to the moon;

old bear nursing wounds of buried thorns;

and there

a kaleidoscope of butterflies emerging

just in time for spring.

Across vast seas,

Wing tip dips Into salty foam of ocean’s tears.

In shafts of lunar light,

Look at how the droplets cling

Glistening like diamonds

Cloistered in a pirate's cove.

Ascend!

Rise up again.

Higher!

Higher!

and even higher still.

Heart is beating strongly with the dizzying heights.

Through the clouds of thunderstorms,

promise of solitude awaits.

Lighting flashes.

Inspiration bright.

A momentary glimpse to map coordinates of flight.

Up and up and up again

To soar inside gentle thermals

- No need for beating wings -

Let the fire within bolster

the dreams to create.

Flow with the breath of life -

Cavort;

Find divinity in the timbre of your sonorous voice;

Give way to a wildly snort;

Whisper secrets to the heavens and

watch them tenderly held in star spun light.

Catch the breeze;

Become a kite.

Smile.

Laugh with the universal joker as he tries to catch you in flight!

Tend to the fire

it burns so brightly

here

Way up here, beyond reptilian ingrained instincts;

Way up here, beyond preposterous preconceptions of logic

Way up here, beyond the realms of imagination, nightmares and dreams

Way up here,

... pause ...

The shadowlands, the never lands, the woodlands, and the ocean of tears

waft and weave

with shadow and light

the tapestry of a life -

A quilt of wisdom to bequeath.

Upon a solitary outcrop

Sated by the feast

Gleaming eye reverently blinks.

Past shades of sapphire blue

See the inner fire blazing

Listen to the heart drumming

Can you hear the totemic beat

Calling to the power of the wild?

Touch the tendons sprung with anticipation

Poised for flight.

Smell the air, nostrils flared

Breath transmuted

Giant plume of steam

Talons release – let go

Wings unfurl.

The mind’s eye has already travelled

The journey to be revealed

Take heart

Courageously fly

Upon a dragon wing.

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Flying Solo Tip 025365 : To rejuvenate, take out a secret life long passion, dust it off and play for a while.

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silent sundays

I spent most of today in silence, and it became a productive workday Sunday, It made me think of my dad who's typical response to "What would you like for Christmas?" was "peace and quiet, just some peace and quiet". We are rarely given the opportunity for a full day of silence. Flying solo means that there are days when not a word is spoken - although today, I did burst into the occasional song in a sing like nobody is listening kind of way. Thank god nobody was!

Earlier this year I did go on a silent retreat which worked on releasing emotional charges around memories. What I found fascinating about this process is the premise that emotional charges (both positive and negative) are nothing more than tiny neural impulses firing in the brain. When we take the "emotion" out of emotion, and consider it at a physiological or anatomical level as a small cluster of neural activity inside the brain, we are able to re-condition our reactions and responses to past events or current situations that we liken to past events. The emotion of the memory no longer has power over us, and if we are able to flood that memory with a sense of appreciation, we create a new neural pathway that enables healing and freedom to live in the now.

There are plenty of videos online that talk about the neuroplasticity of the brain, our capacity to change our todays, and about processes to require our brains to create new and beneficial pathways for healing. Here is a relatively short video which covers some basics : The Amazing Power of the Mind.

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Flying Solo 024365 : In silence we can become truly present to our thoughts and actively change them if they no longer serve us.

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... power plays ...

Thanks to a dear friend, I share these lyrics :

When I awoke today, suddenly nothing happened

But in my dreams, I slew the dragon And down this beaten path, up this cobbled lane I'm walking in my old footsteps, once again

And you say, just be here now Forget about the past, your mask is wearing thin Just let me throw one more dice I know that I can win I'm waiting for my real life to begin

(1)

A day of editing images gives way to silent musings. It occurred to me that I may seem overly obsessed with power, reclaiming personal power as a way to wellness and concerns about the abuse of power.

When I was 19 I was raped and forced to perform certain sexual acts while three other men watched on. Immense shame. Soul destroying humiliation. Savage guilt. My survival instinct was to relinquish any hold on my personal power, although a voice inside of me was screaming to fight. Although the details of that night no longer bring emotional distress, it is a thread in my tapestry of life that has woven itself up and over both my professional and personal life. I chose to wrap up that event in a neat little parcel and stuff it deep into the cupboard where all the other skeletons belong and got on with life. However, the ghosts would come out to haunt me. I struggled with the most intimate of relationships and for a very long time could not bring myself to find pleasure in certain sexual acts.

Early in my corporate career, a mentor advised me that my problem was that I had a healthy disrespect for authority (read as "someone exercising their power over me"). I sought a solution because I knew that if I did not learn to deal appropriately with authority, then I would have a very short lived and limited career. I decided to join the army reserve. Where else is there such a strong hierarchy of command and authority. The day I received my uniform, I had a compelling dream. In that dream, I was putting on my brand new lace up army boots all black and very shiny. I could feel the power. In the dream I then proceeded to grind my lover's face into the ground until it was no longer recognisable. I woke up in a cold sweat. I was scared shitless.

Just the other day after a long and convoluted conversation, a close friend lamented to me, "I just realised, I am afraid of my own power. How can that be?". I can totally empathise with her plight. Our personal power can feel like a dangerous thing when we keep it caged like a wild animal.

For almost 20 years throughout my corporate career, I was a strong advocate for employee empowerment. I found it difficult to reconcile the abuse of power in the business world and to see people around me disempowered and disenchanted by their circumstances. I designed and implemented organisational systems to encourage a better balance of power in working relationships. It only occurred to me today, why I was so passionate about this. Instead of completely dealing with that little box, all neatly wrapped up and stuffed at the back of the cupboard, I had projected my angst out into the world. If I could make the world better and if I could take away some of the pain, shame or humiliation that others my be feeling then the events of that night would eventually recede.

For the majority of my adult life and in many respects, I have failed to nurture a healthy relationship with my own personal power. It is not surprising that my most intimate relationships to date have been seasoned with elements of abuse. Fear, shame and humility conditioned me to over identify with the fear, pain and disempowerment of others even perpetrators than face the personal fear, shame and humility of not exercising my own power to protect myself or at least create the circumstances in my life to live now being well. In the last days, I have come to realise that it is a fools paradise to only project our most inner and often secretive power struggles out into the world. In doing so we become prone to acting with judgemental attitudes, righteousness and even martydom. We are unable to truly support another and help them to tap into their own personal power, unless we have come to terms with our own personal relationship with power.

Power is a double-edged sword. The power to create and the power to destroy exits in each of us in equal measure. The distance between the two extremes is not so great.

(1) song lyrics from Colin Hay "Waiting for my real life to begin".

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Flying Solo Tip 023365 : "The power to create and the power to destroy exists in each of us in equal measure."

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