If you play with fire, one day you are going to get burnt. In many myths, dragons and breathing fire are synonymous. In Japanese culture, for example, the fire dragon has to have a master in order to learn how to communicate without force. The lesson here is that as human beings we need to learn how to tend to our inner fires and not just let it burn out of control.
Today I effed up completely (read with a capital F) and will pay the price for doing so. Today this little dragon did not listen to their rational master, acted out, and when the fire took hold, instead of bringing it back under control, stoked the fire with more fuel and watched as the fire raged, leaving her insides hollowed out, empty and emotionally burnt.
There is another characteristic of dragons recorded through the ages, and that is the role of dragons to guard or protect treasure. We all have something deep inside that we want to protect and when called to action we all have the capacity to go to extraordinary lengths to protect our treasures. It may be a secret. It may be our values. It may be the way in which we see ourselves. Today's firestorm started with me instinctively acting to protect what I perceive to be my treasures. In hindsight those instincts were nothing more than my bruised ego. With ego driven intent, I became the protagonist, I took on the very behaviours that discredit the values that I consciously choose to live my life by. It would be easy to write an essay on justifying my actions but that would simply miss the point of the lesson that needs to be learned here. A bruised ego is not the platform to launch an attack to "protect what your essence values". Only acting in accordance with your personal values will suffice, no further action is required. Ironically, the very thing I wanted to protect, I left unguarded.
In some cultures, dragons are revered for their strength. In other cultures, they are feared for their power and sought out to be slain. Throughout my adult life, my experience as a woman is that if you show signs of strength; are prepared to stand your ground, act with certainty and confidence and if you apply a little heat when calling others into account for unacceptable actions; you are typically branded as a controlling bitch. I have had that direct experience in corporate life and in personal relationships. There are aspects of my personality that are very controlling ... in order to exercise a high degree of self control, one must have controlling characteristics in their personality. Today, though, I did not exercise that self control.
That smouldering rage that for the most part I have kept in check with considerable self control these past months, flared up in the most innocuous situation. Like a moth to the flame, my rage needed an outlet, was attracted to what it perceived as an "appropriate" outlet and bam! Raging fire can cause irrevocable damage. In the past I have been incredibly hurt by a rage that smouldered and burned inside another. Today the tables were turned. I had not dealt with my own rage in constructive ways and as a result I hurt and offended. Today I did not act not like a dragon with honour, but as a coward taking dishonourable actions to justify cowardly behaviours.
The ability to control fire and to use fire constructively is what makes us human, and along the evolutionary path that skill separated us from the rest of the animal kingdom. It is just as important to tend to our inner fire. It is important to keep it alive, and not to allow that fire be snuffed out by the actions of others or by our neglect for ourselves. It is that inner fire that helps us to strive. However, when that fire is fuelled by unchecked emotions, it is a destructive force.
Flying Solo Tip 009365 : To breathe fire, one needs to learn how to attend to one's own fire with honour. You are only responsible for your own fire, not another's.