Feeling somewhat lazy today so I have dug into the archives for another free form verse, although the emotions expressed here are not in the least an indication of how I am feeling today. However the poem does deal with an emotion that most of us have experienced at some point in our lives. It deals with the emotion of grief.
Grief is part and parcel of the human condition, it acts as a process of cleansing and healing after experiencing some kind of loss, that may the loss of a job, a relationship or a loved one. Grief gives us an opportunity to choose - to either succumb to the pain an stay stuck in limbo; or to gain a new and different perspective on life and transform. The choice to grow, to transform the self is not always the easy one. It requires work, perseverance and endurance. The process of grieving gives us an opportunity to re-think and re-evaluate the priorities in our life; it can bring value and meaning to our loss and as a consequence discover what we have gained because of the loss.
No matter how hard I try
The tears would not come.
I was empty inside
Yet I could not console myself.
My eyes burned with hurt.
There were no tears to quench their thirst.
My heart was aching.
My head throbbing - thoughts muddled.
My whole body lay listless,
Waiting, patiently waiting.
Ears heard the slightest sound - real or fanciful.
Eyes watched shadows -
How those suspicious demons danced.
Breathing had lost the sense of rhythm.
My heart ached with the pounding,
Irregular, uncontrollable.
Lips - dry and cracked - partly open -
Air admitted, air emitted.
Still no tears would come.
Dawn was breaking
The wearier in body
The wearier in mind
The wearier in soul
Still the tears did not come
Like a desert on a cloudless day
Eyes were harsh and dry
Their smarting - the heat of blazing sun
The salty sands lay barren
(Relaxation deceived
How victorious melancholy sang
and praised my state on mind)
But in the restless weariness
In the empty, desolate aching
Eyes drooped
And, as in desert rains, torrential in their coming,
So did the tears, salty and incessant
Pour from desert eyes
Rolling down the plains of swollen cheeks.
And, as in desert rains
It all soon quickly passed
And though the body lay listless
Occasionally upsurged by sobbing
(That sound, such sweet comfort)
My muscles relaxed their tensions
The pain was set free
Eyes swollen became the servants of slumber
Though there was a gulf of emptiness
There was a stillness and
Inside a voice whispered, "Sleep Child Sleep"
My eyes closed.
The chasm of emptiness, in deep slumber
Slowly and gradually filled.
Flying Solo Tip 092365 : Grief can be a healthy process when it transmutes buried anger, hurt and resentment into love, compassion and appreciation.