We have envisioned a brighter future; we have imagined a satisfying outcome; we have done things differently to improve our chances of success. In all respects we should be confident. Then for an inexplicable, irrational reason we begin to sabotage our journey towards success.
For the past week, I have been preparing for today - a major project for a new customer with significant future opportunities. In some ways, this opportunity is a validation of the hard yards that I have done these past years. I felt confident that I could manage the work. Then, at 2am this morning, I find myself working on secondary matters when what I really needed was a good night sleep. Why, when things are going well do we decide to sabotage our chances for success?
Even before the day had officially started, I had already made the day far more difficult that it needed to be. Fortunately the three young models working with me today brought incredible energy and enthusiasm to the party. The photoshoot was across various locations, and we had a car load of product and gear to carry from site to site. There were some moments of seeming chaos and mayhem, but my planning and preparation proved invaluable, keeping track of what needed to be done. It was not long into the shoot, that I felt revived and that the saboteur had been silenced.
It was during one of these relocations, that I lost my phone. As a freelancer, a phone is an important accessory to your person. While flying solo, I have discovered that my reliance on my phone, and for it to be on my person has intensified. In the past, I may have stressed about the phone and would have even allowed the situation to "get in the way" and distract me from my day. After the personal disappointment last night of allowing myself to potentially sabotage my day, I was determined not to follow that cycle. When the thought of the phone came into mind, I would acknowledge that I "wondered where it was" and "gave myself assurance that it is most likely to be in one of the bags and that I would find it when we unpack from the day's shoot".
It so happens that I had lost my phone at one of the locations. A good soul had found it, and then did their own detective work to find out a way to get in touch with me. They even "googled" me and found my business email. I am so thankful that I have such a unique name. I am now re-acquainted with my phone - only to find out that I have misplaced my glasses today - but I am too tired to worry about those right now! It seems that Mr Sabotage wasn't as satisfied with today's outcomes as I was.
Sabotage is like an auto-immune disease. It is our self fighting against our self. It is creating situations that are more difficult than they need to be. What purpose does sabotage serve? Is it so we won't be disappointed if things don't go as well as we hope. Is it because we are afraid to believe in a bigger, brighter and better outcome? Is it because we may feel guilty if our lives are filled with blessings and at some level we don't believe that we deserve or are worthy. Sabotage is a silent poison. We often sabotage ourselves without conscious awareness. I discovered today, that if I give the saboteur inside of me little attention, that a greater force is then able to enter into my day. That force is supportive and seeks to resolve our problems and situations with ease. That force is our inner drive to consciously and intentionally live our days well, that force is our willingness to snare a snark!
Flying Solo Tip 004365 : When flying solo, develop an unquestionable belief and appreciation that you are infinitely supported.